Thursday, April 22, 2010

My MIddle School Diary - Episode 5

So many of my entries are really horrible poems. I think I'm ready to share one of them with you now. Maybe at some point I'll post song lyrics. I wish I could say I was 7 when I wrote this but I was definitely 14.

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At some point in 1999

Untitled

My first love
My only love
You hurt me
You crushed me

You killed my hope
You broke my heart
But I still love you
I can't be mad

My first and only love
Crushed me like a bug (thats the best line!!!)
Dropped me like an egg
Beat my heart black and blue

You wilted my soul
You milked it for all it was worth
Which isn't much
But I still love you

For all that you are
And all that I need
I will always love you
I wish that you could love me

I believed so much in love
I wanted it so badly ("so badly" is gone over again in red ink!)
But you made me realize
What it really was

Now I never want to feel it again
I enjoyed it while the lie lasted
But all this embarrassment that I feel now
Makes me hate it

Yay! (I'm not making this up... the "yay" is really in there.)


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Oh boy! That's a good one. I was just reading some pages out loud to my sweetie and we died laughing. At some point I'll make a video dramatization and post it on here for you all.

Looking forward to reading your responses. PLEASE share YOUR adolescent diaries... if you're brave enough.



8 comments:

  1. August 2005...


    They pull these chains harder
    Making things unclear
    She chokes on their venom
    Drowns in their fear
    She wants to run faster
    Get further away
    But the way they keep pulling
    She’s going straight to her grave
    They pull the ropes tighter
    Making him scream
    He laughs at their sorrow
    He drowns it with dreams
    He wants to make them stop
    Make them go away
    But they keep on pulling
    He’s falling in too deep
    They pull their own chains tighter
    Making them want to hurt
    So they take it out on others
    Who aren’t what they want
    They tell them they are worthless
    They are nothing on their eyes
    This keeps going on
    Until the day everyone dies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Katy, thanks for sharing. How old were you in 2005?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was 15 at that point in time, about a month from turning 16.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is the first song I ever wrote with chords and melody. It was for guitar class, 10th grade. It pains me to think that I played this in public. I still remember how it goes.

    1/12/2003 (Age 17)

    these aerosol tears
    have stained my cheeks red
    from all those days
    i wished i was dead.
    these alkaline thoughts
    have burned out my brain
    tainting my messages,
    in this falling rain.

    i thought that you loved me
    but i was so wrong
    and now the time has come
    to say “so long.”
    i wish i could keep you
    i wish you would stay
    but instead you’re moving
    so far away.

    these aerosol tears
    have stained my cheeks red
    from all those days
    i wished i was dead.
    these alkaline thoughts
    have burned out my brain
    tainting my messages,
    in this falling rain.

    it felt so perfect
    so simple so real
    but you prooved me wrong
    with your heart of steel.
    if i had a chance
    to redo it all
    i would give you my
    tears of aerosol

    these aerosol tears
    have stained my cheeks red
    from all those days
    i wished i was dead.
    these alkaline thoughts
    have burned out my brain
    tainting my messages,
    in this falling rain.

    Maybe I’m wrong
    and maybe you’re right
    but we’ve come to an end
    of this poor fight.
    so now is the farewell,
    adios, good bye.
    but not without breathing
    a gasoline sigh.

    these aerosol tears
    have stained my cheeks red
    from all those days
    i wished i was dead.
    these alkaline thoughts
    have burned out my brain
    tainting my messages,
    in this falling rain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tragically, most of my "adolescent" diaries are in LiveJournal. I have been keeping that thing for around 8 years now. There was a bit space between the one diary I kept as a 1st grader and the one I started keeping in high school.

    And, I have almost ALL of my adolescent poetry up on Art Conspiracy. Talk about embarassing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. But as long as nobody knows where it is, luckinspades, you are safe.

    ReplyDelete
  7. here is a link to my website showing my middle school diaries if you want to read:

    http://www.weebly.com/weebly/main.php

    ReplyDelete