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At some point in 1999
Untitled
My first love
My only love
You hurt me
You crushed me
You killed my hope
You broke my heart
But I still love you
I can't be mad
My first and only love
Crushed me like a bug (thats the best line!!!)
Dropped me like an egg
Beat my heart black and blue
You wilted my soul
You milked it for all it was worth
Which isn't much
But I still love you
For all that you are
And all that I need
I will always love you
I wish that you could love me
I believed so much in love
I wanted it so badly ("so badly" is gone over again in red ink!)
But you made me realize
What it really was
Now I never want to feel it again
I enjoyed it while the lie lasted
But all this embarrassment that I feel now
Makes me hate it
Yay! (I'm not making this up... the "yay" is really in there.)
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Oh boy! That's a good one. I was just reading some pages out loud to my sweetie and we died laughing. At some point I'll make a video dramatization and post it on here for you all.
Looking forward to reading your responses. PLEASE share YOUR adolescent diaries... if you're brave enough.
Oh, Zoe, put it to music!! <3
ReplyDeleteAugust 2005...
ReplyDeleteThey pull these chains harder
Making things unclear
She chokes on their venom
Drowns in their fear
She wants to run faster
Get further away
But the way they keep pulling
She’s going straight to her grave
They pull the ropes tighter
Making him scream
He laughs at their sorrow
He drowns it with dreams
He wants to make them stop
Make them go away
But they keep on pulling
He’s falling in too deep
They pull their own chains tighter
Making them want to hurt
So they take it out on others
Who aren’t what they want
They tell them they are worthless
They are nothing on their eyes
This keeps going on
Until the day everyone dies.
Katy, thanks for sharing. How old were you in 2005?
ReplyDeleteI was 15 at that point in time, about a month from turning 16.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first song I ever wrote with chords and melody. It was for guitar class, 10th grade. It pains me to think that I played this in public. I still remember how it goes.
ReplyDelete1/12/2003 (Age 17)
these aerosol tears
have stained my cheeks red
from all those days
i wished i was dead.
these alkaline thoughts
have burned out my brain
tainting my messages,
in this falling rain.
i thought that you loved me
but i was so wrong
and now the time has come
to say “so long.”
i wish i could keep you
i wish you would stay
but instead you’re moving
so far away.
these aerosol tears
have stained my cheeks red
from all those days
i wished i was dead.
these alkaline thoughts
have burned out my brain
tainting my messages,
in this falling rain.
it felt so perfect
so simple so real
but you prooved me wrong
with your heart of steel.
if i had a chance
to redo it all
i would give you my
tears of aerosol
these aerosol tears
have stained my cheeks red
from all those days
i wished i was dead.
these alkaline thoughts
have burned out my brain
tainting my messages,
in this falling rain.
Maybe I’m wrong
and maybe you’re right
but we’ve come to an end
of this poor fight.
so now is the farewell,
adios, good bye.
but not without breathing
a gasoline sigh.
these aerosol tears
have stained my cheeks red
from all those days
i wished i was dead.
these alkaline thoughts
have burned out my brain
tainting my messages,
in this falling rain.
Tragically, most of my "adolescent" diaries are in LiveJournal. I have been keeping that thing for around 8 years now. There was a bit space between the one diary I kept as a 1st grader and the one I started keeping in high school.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I have almost ALL of my adolescent poetry up on Art Conspiracy. Talk about embarassing.
But as long as nobody knows where it is, luckinspades, you are safe.
ReplyDeletehere is a link to my website showing my middle school diaries if you want to read:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.weebly.com/weebly/main.php