My Middle School Diary - Episode 7

This one is actually pre-middle school. I'm not sure how old I was but probably 7 or 8. It is not dated and is also on the last page of a mostly empty diary. I haven't changed much since then though, still a fan of lists. I'm not sure what this list was for... maybe a birthday wish list... but maybe just a wish list.

********* circa 1992*********

1. more scarves

2. Julery

3. Gold belt (this has been crossed out)

4. Egiption shoes

5. Sparkly crowne

6. Hand decorations

7. feathers

8. MAKE IT More

Strict I'm fedd

up

9.

10.

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Not sure why the last two are blank. I am pretty sure I still want everything on that list... except for 8. What was I thinking? My parents were pretty rule free... maybe I felt like I didn't fit in with my friends.

I have a show today! It's at Mama Buzz Cafe (2318 Telegraph Ave, Oakland) at 7:30 pm. I am playing with such incredibly talented folks!

Off to a photo shoot now.

P.S. I recorded an amazing acapela cover of a song that will for now remain a mystery. Those who know, please keep it secret. I am going to make a video to go with it as soon as I have some time. YOU CAN'T WAIT!

My Middle School Diary - Episode 6

I missed a day. Oops. I was on a sailboat with my friend Sass who happens to be a bad ass sailor. To make up for the lack yesterday, here is video for today's entry. Hope you like it. This entry is dated 5-13-2001.

My MIddle School Diary - Episode 5

So many of my entries are really horrible poems. I think I'm ready to share one of them with you now. Maybe at some point I'll post song lyrics. I wish I could say I was 7 when I wrote this but I was definitely 14.

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At some point in 1999

Untitled

My first love

My only love

You hurt me

You crushed me

You killed my hope

You broke my heart

But I still love you

I can't be mad

My first and only love

Crushed me like a bug (thats the best line!!!)

Dropped me like an egg

Beat my heart black and blue

You wilted my soul

You milked it for all it was worth

Which isn't much

But I still love you

For all that you are

And all that I need

I will always love you

I wish that you could love me

I believed so much in love

I wanted it so badly ("so badly" is gone over again in red ink!)

But you made me realize

What it really was

Now I never want to feel it again

I enjoyed it while the lie lasted

But all this embarrassment that I feel now

Makes me hate it

Yay! (I'm not making this up... the "yay" is really in there.)

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Oh boy! That's a good one. I was just reading some pages out loud to my sweetie and we died laughing. At some point I'll make a video dramatization and post it on here for you all.

Looking forward to reading your responses. PLEASE share YOUR adolescent diaries... if you're brave enough.

My MIddle School Diary - Episode 4

Here we go again! So I'd love it if folks commented on these entries with quotes from their old adolescent journals.

This one is two entries because the first is very short and because they go together. You'll see why. I was 14 when I wrote these. Just a reminder, I don't correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

*********

Sept 11, 1999

I have a really bad boyfriend.

Sept 16, 1999

Not any more!

I had a really bad day. Erik has a girlfriend... Tanya, huh. I don't like her. Besides she always goes off about her freshman crush! Derik said I was being distant. Rick made me feel stupid for something that wasn't even stupid. Jasper wasn't swimming today. Gina threw water and salad at me (actually that didn't really bug me) and we lost our field hockey game. Maggie is acting like she is really mad. Jake is ignoring me completely for dumping him!

I'VE SEEN BETTER DAYS!

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It isn't getting any less embarrassing, that's for sure.

News: I'm playing at Folsom prison next month. No joke! I'm so excited. I AM Johnny Cash. Serious.

My Middle School Diary - Episode 3

Hey folks, this is the third day and the third entry of my middle/high school diary. I'm going back in time for now but mostly it will jump around randomly. I was 12 when I wrote this. Just a reminder, I am not correcting spelling, grammar, or punctuation. I change most of the names... maybe I'm too afraid to be THAT honest. This one is pretty tragic... just a warning.

March 5, 1996, 8:15 PM

I think of Chris Tucker all the time. Dreaming of what could be. Time seems to fly when I think of him. I think of Billy too, though I know he goes out with Erica and they are the perfect match.

At school my freinds seem to reject me. I fear they do not like me anymore. They have no raison to. They have many other freinds to play with. They reject me for something that isn't true. They don't know how much they hurt me. At recess I sit on a grassy hill and look at the happy children playing, for I have nothing else to do. In my heart I feel pain though I don't show it on the outside. Though I am nice to people they are not nice to me. My heart sinks, my self esteam is like a deflating baloon, crying for help though no one will help me. People think of themselves before even thinking of thinking of me. In a day I can not count the insults while at school where no one likes me, I think of the people people that do like me. I think of Ariana the most though I saw her two weeks ago, I miss her so much my heart is bleeding. I think the raison I miss her so much so soon is because I am lonely.

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I've gotten a few new adopted sea creatures in the past week and its really exciting! I have packages to ship out to them... gotta get on that. If you don't know what I'm talking about, visit my site. You could be a sea creature too! www.zoeboekbinder.com

Things I've done today:

Finished a song that I started writing on tour a few weeks ago.

Ate a delicious chocolate.

Cuddled two adorable kittens.

Helped make sweet potato fries.

Helped eat sweet potato fries.

Some other less interesting things.

My Middle School Diary - Episode 2

Just a reminder, I'm not correcting spelling, grammar, or punctuation. This entry is in an older journal than the entry yesterday. It was the entry I randomly opened to. It's pretty amazing. I'm keeping the names in this one. Fuck anonymity.

July 13th, 1999

My day is waisting away. I have nothing to do because I don't have a car. I want to be sixteen, have a driver's license and have a really nice '54 Jaguar Roadster (black). If I had a car I would be out of this shot hole in a second. I'd be at the movies with Gabby, Camille, Marieke, and Erin, then we would go to lunch, and then I would win the lottery........ okay, I am going a little far but, ohwell. It would be nice. I want a huge house with a huge guesthouse, stables, 1000 acres of property, a pool and a trampoline. That would be magnifiscsent.

I CAN'T SPELL! FUCK!!

Oh man, this is even more embarrassing than the last one. At least I was younger when I wrote this. Such a materialist... actually, I still want most of those things. On the schedule today is figuring out either Poker Face or Bad Romance on my loop pedals. Wish me luck. Also I might map out my summer tour, go to yoga (hippy), hang some posters, and play a show.

My Middle School Diary

I have a plan. I'd like to blog every day but I fear that my everyday musings are not terribly interesting. So I may include daily anecdotes but mostly I'm going to share entries from my middle school and high school diaries. They are pretty entertaining no matter what but I really recommend reading them allowed (perhaps to a friend) in a "valley girl" manner.

I am going to change the names for anonymity. I am not going to correct the grammar and punctuation... it's too funny as is. Here is the first entry. I'm embarrassed to say that I was in 11th grade when I wrote this:

Nov 23, 2001, 11 pm

I feel so distant. Not that I don't want to be. Sadie and I are not getting along. I don't understand it. We were best friends for all of a week.

Janet is a hypocrite. She told me today that she doesn't like it when I flirt with Derik and James. Then I told her it bothers me when she flirts with Tyler. She totally disregards what I said and said that she doesn't consider what she does with Tyler flirting because she doesn't like him, I don't like Derik and James, I am not going to stop flirting, I love it, it's making me happy. I want to call Kim. That was random.

I get an unexplainable feeling from Tyler, I mean, I feel something for him. I don't know why and it is nothing like a crush. Thats why I wrote all those songs, because a crush would not inspire those. This is an intense love, caring. I miss who he is, but I don't even know who he is. I never knew him before. I feel so alone. I wish I could cry.

Wow. That is embarrassing. Well, I'm off to the flea market. Wish me luck.